Depression: Understanding Your Inner Struggle

Depression can feel like a heavy weight that follows you around, making everything seem more difficult. It’s a complex emotional and physical experience that many people face, and it’s important to understand that it’s not a sign of weakness. Just like anxiety, depression is a part of the human experience, and it’s often our brain’s way of signaling that something isn’t quite right. Let's explore depression, how it affects us, and how we can shift our relationship with it.

What is Depression?

Depression isn't just about feeling sad. It can affect every part of your life—from your thoughts and emotions to your physical health and behavior. It’s more than just a temporary mood change or feeling “down.” When you’re experiencing depression, it can feel like a constant cloud blocking out the light, making even simple tasks seem overwhelming.

Some common signs of depression include:

• Persistent sadness or emptiness

• Loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed

• Fatigue or lack of energy

• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions

• Changes in sleep or appetite

• Thoughts of hopelessness or worthlessness

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While depression may feel isolating, it’s more common than many people realize. It can affect anyone, regardless of age, background, or situation.

The Caveman Mind: Why We’re Wired to Be Negative

To understand why depression and negative thinking are so common, it helps to consider how our minds evolved. Our brains didn’t evolve to make us happy—they evolved to keep us alive. In our distant past, human survival depended on being alert to threats in the environment, and our brains became highly tuned to notice danger.

Imagine the early caveman days: a person walking through the forest, constantly alert for potential predators. The brain would prioritize noticing the smallest signs of danger, like rustling in the bushes or an unfamiliar sound. This heightened sense of vigilance was critical for survival—it kept people from being caught off guard by threats.

However, this negativity bias, which helped our ancestors survive, can become a problem in the modern world. Instead of looking out for predators, our brains now tend to focus on stress, mistakes, or potential failures. We can get stuck in negative thought patterns, always scanning for problems, even when there’s no immediate danger. This constant “threat detection” can lead to feelings of depression and anxiety, making us feel like we’re in an endless cycle of overwhelm, even if there’s no real immediate danger.

Depression: More Than Just a Bad Mood

Like anxiety, depression isn’t necessarily an enemy. It’s often a signal from your mind and body that something needs attention. It’s like a warning light on your car that keeps flashing—something needs to be fixed, but it’s not something that should be ignored.

However, the problem arises when we misunderstand depression or fight against it. We may try to ignore or avoid our feelings, hoping they’ll go away on their own, but this can make things worse. Depression can feel like an unwanted guest, making everything feel harder, but avoiding it doesn’t help in the long run. The more we resist it, the more powerful it can feel, often leading to increased isolation and distress.

A Different Approach: Shifting How We Relate to Depression

Instead of trying to eliminate depression, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) suggests we shift our relationship with it. ACT teaches us to approach depression with kindness and curiosity, rather than struggling against it. By accepting that depression is a part of our current experience, we can open up space and re-direct energy to focus on what truly matters.

Some ACT strategies that can help manage depression include:

• Mindfulness: Being aware of depressive thoughts and feelings without judging them. When you notice negative thoughts or feelings, instead of getting lost in them, try focusing on your sense of touch (or one of your other senses). For instance, place your hand on a surface like a table or your leg and notice how it feels. Is the surface warm or cool? Smooth or textured? Pay attention to the sensation of your hand making contact with the object. This simple act of grounding yourself in the present moment can help pull you out of your thoughts and back into your body.

• Defusion: If you catch yourself thinking, “I’m a failure,” recognize that this is just a thought, not a fact. You could try saying to yourself, “I’m having the thought that I’m a failure,” and gently acknowledge that this thought doesn’t define who you are. You might even add a touch of humor—like imagining the thought in a silly voice or on a sign held by a cartoon character. This helps create distance between you and the thought.

• Acceptance: Making room for difficult emotions, instead of fighting them. Instead of resisting feelings of sadness, try allowing them to exist without judgment. You might say to yourself, “It’s okay to feel sad right now. I don’t have to like it, but I can sit with it for a moment.” This allows you to experience the emotion without letting it take control of you or layering it with more emotions, such as guilt, shame, anxiety etc.

• Values: Now you've taken a step back from your thoughts/feelings, ask yourself, “What really matters to me right now?” Maybe it’s spending time with family or working on a creative project. Even if you only take one small step toward something meaningful, like writing one sentence in a journal or calling a friend, you’re making progress toward living a life aligned with your values.

  
  

By practicing these skills, we can find ways to live a meaningful life despite the challenges that depression brings. Depression isn’t the enemy—it’s simply a part of our human experience. With compassion and patience, we can learn to live with it, rather than being controlled by it.

Moving Forward

If you or someone you know is experiencing depression, remember that you are not alone. It’s okay to seek support, whether it’s through therapy, a support network, or professional help. If you feel ready to try out some of the strategies mentioned here, start small, be kind to yourself, and take things one step at a time.

And if you find that you need extra help along the way, BetterSpace Wellbeing Clinic is here to guide you through the process. You don’t have to navigate depression on your own.